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This Week in Animal Vengeance: Total bloodbath!! Lions Take Out 10 Poachers; Bull Gores Matador, Mul

Nature is pissed! Is it because of Global Warming? Is it the Anthropogenic Great Extinction we've initiated? Is it because Greenland is going naked? Who knows, but there will be blood. So are we not entertained!?

Well, sadly I regret to inform you that the story about a Pride of Lions Taking Out 10 Poachers was a hoax. Too bad. That would have been some real Hollywood-level lion vengeance. I would watch that shit in a second. I honestly have zero sympathy for poachers. Or trophy hunters for that matter, they're probably worse.

Bulls chalked up a couple kills during the Pamplona Bull Run on the same day. Check the Yahoo video to witness fat, idiot men entering into a deadly contest with bovine killing machines. Wow. You people are dumb.

But the bull goring the Matador was the real deal. The poor man died. And you have to feel sad for his family and loved ones, but if you play barbaric sports you're gonna get barbaric results. With apologies to the matador's family and loved ones, I really hope the bulls go on a massive, massive streak. Or we could end these shameful spectacles of bloody massacre and consign them to history where they belong.

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