When Trudeau Visits Trump: Opposites Collide--Will Trudeau's Constant Trolling of Trump Get Cana
It's bigger than a monster truck rally folks, this is Trudeau vs. Trump. Monday, Monday, Monday!! We're personally very curious to see how Trudeau will conduct himself here. Here we have Canada's handsome, feminist, young, progressive Prime Minister vs. a Trump Monster he's verbally slapped a few times now. From announcing visa-free travel to Mexicans after Trump's promise to build a wall, to his pro-refugee tweets proclaiming "To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith. Diversity is our strength!" Trudeau seems to have made a point of diametrically opposingTrump's policy's whenever he can.
Though Trudeau's recent proclamations make for good global PR, they won't endear him to Trump--who might see these as dick moves that embarrass him before the global commons. And it's not like Trump can't retaliate. 75% of Canada's exports go to the US, so if Trump were so inclined--and he is rather impulsive, he could nearly destroy Canada's economy overnight. The challenge for Trudeau, then, will be not only to persuade Trump not to dick punch the Canadian economy out of spite, but to bring him around to the Canadian way of thinking for the good of humanity.
I can't claim to know Trudeau's mind, but after grilling British Prime Minister Theresa May and French President Francois Hollande for insights into dealing with The Trump, he must be thinking "oh shit!!!"
"I've gone and lipped off to an unhinged egomaniac who can smash 75% of our economy!! Exactly what a brash, all-looks no brain moralizing hipster PM would be expected to do! Fuck!! I'm acting directly to fucking stereotype!! What an embarrassment!!" And then he would perform the Canadian apology song to all Canadians.
No reason to panic? Trump is what people might call "erratic." What if he gets upset or insulted and does something completely fucked up? What if he builds a border wall with Canada? What if he decides "fuck it" and does a Canadian ban and has us all deported from North America? What's Canada going to do, throw hockey skates? Fucking moose racks?
I mean, maybe Trudeau comes up with the killer proposal, a speech better than anything The Apprentice has ever seen. Maybe Trudeau can show him a vision of a huge win, the biggest win there ever was. Trump solves climate change, avoids overpopulation, wars and famine, Trump frees humanity from the threat of nuclear war and global inequality stabilizes at healthy, sustainable levels and we all make it. We fucking survive the next 100 years. And "you're the hero Trump! You'll be lionized and venerated forever and evermore."
Or Trump might recall some Trudeau tweets and suddenly torture becomes legal again and then who knows where Trudeau disappears to, I don't know. In this crazy world, it's getting, like, plausible. So be scared!